TW: PTSD, sexual harassment, sexual assault, depression, suicide

Please read the first part here before you go into this one, for background on the Burning Sun scandal, who BigBang were/are, and why I’m doing this review.

Album #3: Tonight

Tonight feels tailor-made for a club, chaotic and messy, and I’m not entirely sure if it was intentional or not. It also feels like the start of another new era for BigBang, and not just because the music video isn’t covered in that very specific early-2010’s filter that so many k-pop songs from the time seem to. (If you’re a second gen fan, you know what I’m talking about). No, it shoots forward, like a racecar that shouldn’t be on the highway, self-assured but not in a way that feels unearned. It’s the sound of a group coming into their own.  But Tonight’s best moment is the acoustic section of the final chorus, the slight break that it offers, before everything goes back to hyper speed. A few missteps (like the heavy autotuning) aside, it’s a great song, and I really enjoyed it.

Side note: I’m reading too much into everything, it’s just who I am, and I apologize for that. But whenever I hear a fun song of theirs that sounds like it would play on a dancefloor, I’m reminded of the Burning Sun, and that tempers my love of each one. And I know that that isn’t fair to the others or to the music, but I can’t help it.

From the album, I enjoyed the return of Park Bom in Oh Yeah, the jazzy piano of Cafe, and the solid percussion of Somebody To Love. But, it pains me a little to say, my hidden gem was Seungri’s What Can I Do. It’s got a great driving beat and a satisfying rise and fall, perfectly made to be a crying-on-the-dancefloor masterpiece. And for a moment, I forgot why I was writing this review and said to myself, “this is one of my favorite songs of theirs”. And when I figured out whose voice it was I was listening to, I wondered what the ethics of that was. Can I still love the song while acknowledging that the reason I love it is, frankly, a monstrous human? Or should I never listen to it again? I honestly don’t know.

EP #4: Still Alive

With gentle piano and gentler vocals, Bad Boy harkens back to the music videos of Lies and Haru Haru, albeit with a glossier finish and more matured voices. This song goes for the slice-of-life sound that I mentioned back in my Day6 review, a wistful, bittersweet sound that recalls better, simpler days. I admit I laughed a bit at the “sorry I’m a bad boy” hook; it’s hard to take seriously. I don’t know whose idea it was for the BigBang members to just dance after women on the street for this video, though; it just feels odd and uncomfortable. Either way, it’s a good song for what it is, but what it is is not for me.

Let me level with you: I’ve never liked the song Fantastic Baby. Something about it has always turned me off, and whether it be the anti-drop or the over autotuning or just the way G-Dragon says “fantastic baby”, I just can’t get through it. So, during this review, I sat myself down—twice—and listened, jaw clenched. And you know what, no. I still hate it. I’m sorry. There’s good in it. A lot of good, in fact. The verses are solid, if a bit light on substance in places, and even the rap verses skip along with some great energy. But I also hate the music video. I nearly turned it off three times. Firstly, it doesn’t go with the song at all. Secondly, we’re supposed to be rebelling against the government. Why do they have to be shirtless and getting sensually touched by women in catsuits? Why is any of this happening? I don’t know, and I don’t care, just get it the hell away from me.

Monster is a single that I had to dig a little bit to find. Besides not being promoted very much, it’s never brought up on their best of lists and was only on the special edition of their Alive EP, called “Still Alive”. I only searched it out because my friend would not stop ranting and raving about how good it was, and I thought, hell, it’s worth a try. It’s got a slow start, like many of BigBang’s ballads do, its verses drifting along with a detached, airy feeling that’s unusual for them. But its sledgehammer hook makes up for it, crashing through my malaise and jolting me awake with a heartbeat-like pulse, sleek synths layered on top, and affecting vocals. It was at that moment where I went, “Okay, I guess this is going to be a good one.” And boy was that an understatement. While the first chorus is good, every rendition afterward heightens the sound (and the drama) further, with just a slight pull-back for the bridge before everything comes together for the final chorus. Alright, Stacy, you were right; it’s a great song, I admit it.

From the EP, I enjoyed the synthy sounds of Ain’t No Fun and the smooth, melancholy vocals of Blue. My hidden gem was Daesung’s solo Wings, with its encouraging strings, solid beat, and flashes of guitar.

Single #4: M

Loser is the first of five singles in BigBang’s M.A.D.E. series, and goes for an overwrought, sad coffee shop sound that was kind of a slog to get through, to be honest. I don’t know if many people will get this reference, but its chorus reminds me of the song “Loser Baby” from Hazbin Hotel, of no fault of its own. Every time they went “I’m a loser—” I kept singing, “loser baby, a loser but just maybe”. It’s just not that interesting, unfortunately, and neither is its MV. BigBang’s done this sound before, and they’ve done it better. I don’t need to see more simulated intimacy and men dramatically smashing windows and women walking around, backs arched in bathing suits. I repeat, go away.

Single #5: A

My thoughts on Bang Bang Bang are similar to my thoughts on Fantastic Baby. This song makes me want to scream, and not in the way they were intending. Let’s start with what I like. I like the verses and the bridge, I think they’re both good, and they’d make a great song with an equally good chorus. Now onto what I don’t. So, I don’t know why this happens, but every time that hook comes around with its squealing fire alarm sound effects, it’s like a bright red flag waved in front of a bull and it makes me utterly furious. I just genuinely despise that chorus, and no amount of exposure will change my mind. I’m sorry if this is your favorite song, I’ve done my best. Also, excuse me, but seriously, this was filmed in 2016 and we’re still doing cultural appropriation of Native Americans? I…I need to move on before I pop a blood vessel, Christ.

Single #6: D

Sober was another of the songs I’d heard before this review, but I have the complete opposite reaction to it than the one I had to Fantastic Baby. I really love this song. It reminds me a bit of TXT’s Lovesong, or, perhaps it’s more accurate to say, Lovesong reminds me of this. It’s anthemic in an understated way, mixing rock, pop-punk, and BigBang’s usual hip-hop / EDM to create a woozy, nostalgic track. The “ahh, jinjja aish” before the chorus never fails to make me laugh. Also, the music video is a perfect fit, being some kind of candy-colored, slapstick nightmare that manages to be both funny and hit you right in the feels with this desperate, messy sound that stands right at the cross-section of youth and adulthood. It’s this song that makes me see what other people see in BigBang, and I wish I could see it in all of their singles.

And yet. And yet. Taeyang is wearing box braids. I thought we’d left this behind with Dirty Cash, guys. But apparently not. Look, I’m white. It’s probably not my place to criticize a Korean band for appropriating Black culture. But not mentioning it feels like a disservice to all the Black k-pop fans out there, and all of the Black viewers of my blog too. I (and we) owe it to them (to you) to call out this kind of thing when we see it, and not just shrug our shoulders and let it pass us by.

Single #7: E

Let’s Not Fall In Love had me thinking that we’d be getting a solid ballad. And it turns out that I was (kind of right). It’s most similar to Loser out of their previous work, but it has more peaks and valleys, instead of being pretty flat all the way through. Those peaks don’t really go anywhere, unfortunately, and every time it’s close to becoming interesting, it stops halfway through. It’s pretty, and their voices sound as good as usual, but it’s not a very interesting piece, wandering aimlessly with no real destination. The music video is cute, though.

Album #4: M.A.D.E.

I was wary of FXXK IT, to be honest. Not only does it cap off the M.A.D.E. series, but the name brings back the postulating attitudes of Dirty Cash and La La La, and I didn’t know what to expect. But it was nothing like what I expected, instead being…a fairly straightforward, upbeat love song? The verses were fairly average, but the pre-chorus’ build was great. I’m not the biggest fan of the chorus and its somewhat anti drop, to be honest, but it was fine. I think the raps added nothing. I really liked that bridge and final chorus though; I wish the other choruses had taken what was so good about it. But instead we have something that’s pretty close to being great but stops itself from getting there. 

Also, I wish I didn’t have to repeat myself, but again, this is 2016. There’s no reason for Taeyang to be wearing braids in a second music video. There’s no reason to still be doing cultural appropriation. There isn’t an excuse for this. And if we acknowledge that BigBang are involved enough in their work to give them credit for their writing and composing, then we have to acknowledge that they’re involved enough to face some of the blame for the decision to do this.

From the album, I enjoyed the powerful build of emotion in Last Dance, the vulnerable If You, and the easy flow of Zutter. There’s a reason why it’s considered BigBang’s magnum opus, if you will. Unfortunately, it was also their final one, for all the reasons mentioned in the intro. They did have one more special single as five, Flower Road, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Single #8: Flower Road

So, Flower Road; the last time BigBang would promote as five. It was meant to be a goodbye—of course, ahead of a lengthy hiatus for military service, not arrests for sexual assault—and something about it rings eerie now. It’s a fairly standard pre-military-service song, relaxed and led by acoustic guitar, that asks fans to wait for them and let them come back, despite their mistakes. It’s fanservice on steroids, basically, and there isn’t much I can say about it, because it’s not something made for me.

Single #9: Still Life

Still Life is (as of now) BigBang’s most recent single, and likely their last for a while. With Seungri and now T.O.P. no longer part of the group, each of the other members have gone on to solo careers, G-Dragon and Taeyang becoming especially influential. This song is also a goodbye, perhaps a permanent one, relying on acoustic guitar, piano, and of course, the members’ voices. The lyrics reference growing up, and how time will pass, no matter what you do, just like the seasons. Again, it’s not that unique, but I’m sure that if this was made by a group I loved, I would appreciate it much more. My favorite part was the final minute, as the la-la-la-la chants began to rise, and allowed the song to end on a respectable fade-out, like an old hit. It’s a beautiful music video, by the way. I also thought it was interesting how the members never appeared together in it, save for when there was a shot of four chairs together. It’s a goodbye, yes, but it also feels like grieving, though for what, or for who, I’m not sure.

I think that Nick at The Bias List communicated the feelings of a fan perfectly, in a way I never could. I felt more emotional reading his words than I did with the video itself. So, please go read his review. I’ll link it here.

My Top 5 songs are Sober, Haru Haru, Last Farewell, Monster, and What Can I Do, with Fool as an honorable mention. BigBang gets an 8.5 out of 10 from me, which was a more difficult score to settle on than you might think; I kept going back and forth between that, 8.25, and 8.0. Normally it’s an easy choice, just a question of, “Did I like the group? Why or why not?” And the answer here was yes. And no. And yes again. A lot of my thoughts on BigBang are similar to my thoughts on SHINHWA and BTS’ hiphop tracks, from the rampant AAVE to the fact that it’s not a style that’s ever appealed to me. Mostly, I felt like they often come so close to making fantastic work, and yet they often just fall short of that. But I can’t deny their talent, or deny that there were tracks I really enjoyed, from when BigBang ventured outside of their debut sound and combined hip-hop with pop or EDM. And I can’t deny how important they were to k-pop, or to so many people’s journeys into becoming fans. They were something special, truly. Just not for me.

Outro / TL;DR

So. I think I’m glad I did this? I’d be lying if I said it was easy—in fact, it might be the hardest review I’ve ever written—but it was definitely an unforgettable experience, for better or for worse. An experience that left me very emotional.

In most of my reviews, I talk about what kinds of fun, lighthearted behind the scenes things I watched to get to know the members better, and I did watch some things, like parts of their Happy Together special, which was genuinely lovely. But then, Seungri is still there, acting normal. I watched him cracking jokes with his group members and started laughing along, and then before I knew it, I was crying. Because he’s so funny. He’s funny and charming and I laughed. And then I thought of everyone he hurt, and I looked at the man onscreen, and suddenly he seemed even more terrifying than he’d been in the news reports.

I hope that mentioning my reasons for wanting to do this won’t come across as seeking sympathy or trying to make the suffering of others about me, because that isn’t what I’m after. Like I said, I know that no matter how much advocacy I do, I can’t erase my old decisions. I hope that I did Hara and all of the survivors of the Burning Sun justice. And most of all, I hope that those women get up every morning and stand tall in the knowledge that they are incredibly strong, that they should be proud for having gone through what they did.

If you are reading this, and you have suffered sexual harassment, assault, or any kind of related violence, I am so, so sorry. I wish there was more I could do, but I’m only a kpop reviewer, after all. But I am going to leave you with a number to call: The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network or RAINN, who has a 24/7 crisis line and can be reached at 800-656-4673, or at this website. And this: it is never your fault. What you were wearing, what you were doing, what you were saying doesn’t matter. You were a victim. And I truly, truly hope that you can look in the mirror every morning with pride, knowing that you lived, that you went through hell and came out the other side. If no one else will say it, I will: I am very proud of you.

Thank you so much for reading. Next time, we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming. Tschüss, and please, please, I’m begging you, if you see something, say something.